How to help your child ....
Self Esteem
The issue of how a child perceives their world and how they interact within that world will have a direct impact on their self-esteem and self image. As much as we, as parents attempt to nurture, encourage and protect our children, we must also recognise that they must also have self-confidence and a belief within and of themselves if they are to thrive within society. An individual's self-esteem is based on how they feel about themselves not about how others perceive them.
Research and experience tells us that when a child has low self-esteem then the child is more likely to be negative, not willing to try, socially withdrawn, experience failure on a more regular basis and be very insecure. On the other hand, a child who has a positive self-image or high self-esteem is willing to try new learning experiences, does not display negative social attitudes to school or life, is both confident and happy and enjoys life.
If there was a recipe for establishing a child's positive self-image or developing an individual's self-esteem it would no doubt be universally accepted by all
parents and educators. Unfortunately, there is no one "cure all" in the area of self-esteem. However, we do know that self-esteem incorporates self-discipline, resilience, self worth and how we manage with life's successes, challenges and learning experiences.
Self-esteem is inseparable from the experience of encouragement, praise, success and the recognition of achievement, both by others and oneself.
Furthermore, the approval by others, is a potent force in developing an individual's self-esteem. This approval is best manifested in encouragement, be it so simple as a "pat on the back", a wink, a few positive words or something much more extrinsic as a reward. As adults, both parents and teachers must recognise that true heartfelt praise or encouragement is the best tool we have to develop a child's self-esteem.
We encourage our children by actions, words and deeds to allow them to develop their own self-image.
A child's self-image has a tremendous influence on the child's educational success, behavior and overall social and emotional development.
Self-esteem is important
Does your child like themself ?
Do they think you like them ?
Do they think others like them?
Do they feel good about being themself ?
How you can help ?
As adults, there is much that we can do - and can avoid doing - to ensure that our children develop confidence and respect for themselves.
When we feel a sermon coming on - we can switch it off. Turn the discussion back to the child
When we are tempted to declare how "wrong" a child is - we can ask the child to clarify or to explain what she / he is thinking or feeling . Children will express themselves more freely if they do not feel the threat of a judge's sentence.
When a "nagging session" threatens - we can try humour.
When strong emotional stress is evident - we can talk about the problem later. Strong emotion makes productive dialogue impossible. Let the emotion subside before tackling the problem.
We can say things like:
We can avoid saying things like:
By following these few guidelines, we can reinforce our children's positive efforts, whether in education, social activities or in attitudes toward others. We will be contributing to the development of their self-esteem - a precious reward for our efforts.
As parents we have all experienced the heartbreak of watching a child's struggle but we must also realise that how we manage that experience will also greatly affect the child's perception of the situation. If you are negative then it is most likely that the child will also be negative, if you focus on the positive outcomes of the experience then it is most likely so will the child. Remember there is no one cure to boost a child's self-esteem but you are the role model for your child's reaction and interpretation of all their successes and challenges.
Everyone should have someone cheering for them in life.
As children mature different strategies need to be adopted to support a child's self-esteem and resilience. The following strategies may help older children in developing a positive self-image.
If you have concerns regarding your child's self-esteem or self-image please discuss these issues with your child's class teacher or make an appointment tosee the school counsellor.